Mountain Scene - Pollies ditch positivity to bring back the biff

Nationally the lolly scramble is in full flight and insults are being tossed around freely. Locally the politicians are out in force and the hoardings are up, complete with plenty of childishly scribbled satirical humour.
 
That’s right, in case you have been living under a rock somewhere and not noticed, its election time!

---

Things are hotter than between a honeymooners bed sheets on the campaign trail with more mudslinging than a kindergarten playground fight. Positive politics was the catch cry coming in, how hollow those words have turned out to be as the biffo heats up.
 
I know living in our patch of paradise it can be easy to forget about pesky far off things such as Ebola, Miley Cyrus and Elections. There is snow on the hills, tourists bustling around the streets and lives to get on with, however the outcome invariably affects all of us, so as they say, if we want the right to have a good whinge about things later on we need to first cast a vote on September the 20th.
 
There are more choices than NZ Idol who to pick? As confusing as MMP is when you boil it down we really only have two choices, straight ahead for another 3 years or a rather dramatic change. Being a civilised democracy we all get to make up our own mind and unlike a certain flatmate of mine who will remain nameless, surely you’re not just using colours and wanting to spread the love around as proposed voting parameters? Hopefully you’re taking at least a passing interest in educating yourself on the differing viewpoints and with MMP it pays to look at what bundle of extras comes in with your preferred Party? Here’s one amusing yet a slightly scary scenario I’m not that keen on?
 
Its 2015 and David Cunliffe is gathering up the travelling Labour, Green, Mana, .Com, NZ First collation circus to attend the Prime Ministers now annual golf game with Big Daddy Obama in Hawaii. The world’s media gaze is focused on the C Team and it’s their chance to shine.
 
Tee Off - Cunliffe’s holding his composure well despite preferring the snow to the fairways and having to explain to Barrack that due to his coalition partners he’s cancelling NZ’s participation in all Free Trade negotiations and banning US foreign investment. The Back 9 and things are starting to fall apart, Cunliffe’s 5 over while Obama is slightly unsettled by Russell Norman insisting on pushing the golf cart to save fuel. He’s even more bemused to find Hone Hawawira has claimed the 15th for local displaced Hawaiian’s meaning a shortened round.
 
Obama is trying his best to be polite but discretely flicks off an iMessage to his PA to strike the event off the calendar for 2016. Arriving at the club house things get comical as they wander into a raucous party DJ’d by Kim .Com and Laila Harré complete with impressionable youths chanting profanities.
 
Needing a drink to cope with the madness he seeks out Whiskey swilling Winny only to find he’s refused to attend due to the course being owned by the Chinese and even worse Metiria Turei’s replaced the Whiskey with organic fair trade mineral water. Obama, confused and bewildered, boards Air Force 2 at pace while John Key wakes up in a cold sweat “Another Nightmare Bronagh