Mountain Scene - I got the dirty ole denim blues

Last Friday night innocently minding my own business propped up against a well maintained shoulder press machine, gathering up the muscular fortitude for another crack at throwing a few weights around, I was approached by a spritely looking young gentleman who gestured awkwardly for me to remove my headphones. 

Not really in the mood for chin-wagging as I was nipple deep in a great 80’s glam rock play list I begrudgingly removed one headphone  in the interests of politeness. 


“Sir could you please not wear denim next time you train, it’s not allowed.” 

Obviously I’d misheard him, so removing my other headphone I bewilderingly queried back, “what was that mate?” He kindly repeated his ridiculous statement. 

The look on my face must have been something similar to that of Saddam Husain, when hidden away in his wee fox hole he was unearthed by US forces after months on the run, shock mixed with disbelief and bewilderment.  

I was expecting him to chuckle and tell me it was a joke, a camera crew was about to burst out and Ashton Kutcher was going to tell me I’d been punked? 

Telling most kiwi males, especially difficult buggers like me they can't do something is like a red flag to a rouge Bull but telling me I can't wear my beloved denim to the gym is like telling Ayatollah Sayyed Ali Khamenei Iran’s Supreme leader that the prophet Mohamed is just a figment of his imagination and the Koran is about as light on facts as your average tabloid newspaper. 

Obviously less than impressed I asked what possible reason could there be for this crusade against denim? I received a high quality answer of course.  “It’s in the terms and conditions and the manager is really hot on it at the moment.” 

I’ve been in the fitness industry for over a decade, I’ve run gyms, boot camps,  trained national teams and been a personal trainer all while proudly wearing an assortment of denim attire.  Sure not the most practical or
fashionable but I like it, it’s my own unique gym uniform. 


Alpine Health and Fitness please explain to me why, after four happy denim clad years involved as a member and a contractor at your fine facility there is suddenly a problem? 

I have watched teenage street rats in low riding pants wearing chucks trying to do dead-lifts… safety hazard? I’ve been distracted by scantily clad Scandinavian backpackers training in what would barely pass as underwear, another very pleasant safety hazard.

I also unfortunately trained at Peak Fitness in the era of Keith Old’s rubber power lifting suit! Offensive and dangerous all in one, but simple denim being classed as un-suitable for the gym, that’s just plain inappropriate!


Mark writes a regular column for the Mountain Scene - View the original  HERE

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